Yankee Doodle - Donald Trump Style

In this age of talking points, stunted discourse, and politicking-by-twitter, it's easy to lose sight of the beauty of the English language at its best. In the spirit of making politics more eloquent (while at the same time lightening up the mood), I've put my thoughts on my favored presidential candidate into verse, to the familiar tune of Yankee Doodle:

A New York Yankee tried and true,

who earned a lofty station,

who loves the red and white and blue

and treasures freedom's nation.

Twenty thousand he employs;

his wealth is in the billions.

He shares the bounty he enjoys

with soldiers and civilians.

When he look’d at our statesmen

and saw their poor condition,

to make our country great again

became his only mission.

Seventy's a ripe old age

to brave the grand election.

The Donald's mind is sharp and sage;

his health is all perfection.

Donald Trump will build a wall

along the southern border.

He'll build it beautiful and tall

with steel and bricks and mortar.

Donald Trump will take a stand

for legal immigration;

he'll bring the jobs back to our land

and safety to our nation.

Our country's lost respect abroad,

The world can barely hear us.

In Moscow, Beijing and Riyadh

our foes no longer fear us.

Clinton goes to ev'ry length

to understate the crisis,

but Trump will bring us peace thru strength

and cut the head off ISIS!

He'll bomb the hell out of Iraq

and take away their oil;

our troops will know he's got their back

when ISIS' plans are foil'd.

Never shall we drop our guns

to kneel before Jihadis;

our enemies will be the ones

who count their comrades’ bodies!

We'll get the truth from Donald Trump

while Clinton's lies are leaking,

For we know when he takes the stump

it’s from the heart he’s speaking.

Here’s a man who’s never shy

to say the controversial;

'tis better far than one fresh lie

with ev'ry new commercial!

He's hir’d the best of personnel:

The Trump Organization.

And we know he'll do just as well

with his administration.

If things ever get too far

in foul corruption mired,

he'd find out who the culprits are

and then he'd say 'You're fired!'

And to our highest Court he'll name

originalist judges,

whose Constitution stays the same

so freedom never budges.

Vindicating each who fights

to keep and bear his rifle,

and with our sacred Bill of Rights

the Feds will never trifle.

The outcome far from certain is,

for Trump we labor daily.

But if we make the vict'ry his

we'll sing our triumph gaily.

And the joyous prize we win

shall live in song and story!

America made great again

in all her shining glory!

And the joyous prize we win

shall live in song and story!

America made great again

in all her shining glory!